Boundaries, Pressure, Resolution Time

It's a New Year! 2011. Seems like just yesterday Jacqui and I were standing at the bottom of the Space Needle, freezing our tushes off, and ringing in the millennium! That was eleven years ago ... and for me, another lifetime ago! Pre-marriage, pre-career, pre-kids ... basically pre-grown-up.

Back then I could make a Resolution and meet it pretty easily. My list of responsibilities was super short compared to my list now!

So here's how I now - as a grown up (sounds funny!) - make New Year's Resolutions: I choose a goal that has very little real means of measurement so that it is very difficult to determine on any regular basis whether my action meets my resolve. I like it! No stress, no pressure; and I have just enough pride and motivation that it'll keep me accountable but not drive me crazy. Follow? Ha! (I'm in a nutty mood right now, can you tell?!)

I resolve to post on this site more frequently and diligently than I did last year.

There you have it! When I resolved November 2010 (one month) to post daily, I ended up loving it! I didn't quite make it daily, but I was close, and it was fantastic! I wanted to keep it up. Then December hit. Busy time to be blogging, as you know. Then the Toilet Bowl hit. But we're all better now, the holidays are over, and the decorations are all packed up.

So here we are: resolving. To post and chat. And when my mommy brain freezes, and I just don't know WHAT to chat about, I'll pull out a "Blog Topic" from Being5's Project Blog.

Like that? Notice that I didn't resolve to be a regular Project Blogger (too much pressure and stress) BUT I did resolve to participate when it works for me? Nice.

I seriously have a book at home entitled something like "How to Say No." It's all about boundary setting. Right now, I'm setting a boundary for myself because I know that if I say I'll post every week (seriously how stressful is that?), the pressure will mount and by May I'll be ready to cry. Not cool.

I have a tendency to over-commit and over-schedule. I'm working on it. Really. In 2009 my calendar literally had weekends labeled: "Stay home; No Guests." You see, I'm the opposite of a commitment-phobe. But the truth is that keeping those commitments is SO unfair and unfun for my whole family. So I have toned it down. I'd say a lot. Kevin might say still not enough. Depends on the month. Constant balancing act. But he's a good sport. He loads up the car, gets in the driver's seat, and says something like: " Ok, so where to? For how long? And after that? And are we doing anything else while we're there? Are we supposed to be doing anything else? Are you wanting to squeeze something else in? Spill it, Jen, I know there's 'something else.'" And there usually is. Like, for example, I may want to sneak in a stop at Ikea between my mom's in Puyallup and a birthday party in Kent. We might have 15 minutes "to spare;" just walking through Ikea takes 45 minutes. Totally doable. Right?! Wrong. Or I might want to squeeze in coffee with a girlfriend in West Seattle - at 6 a.m. so it doesn't mess up the rest of our day, and so I still get to see her. Huh? What's going through my mind when I think of things like that?? What about sleep?

It's about a half hour time gap that gets me every time. That "spare time" time does not really exist!?! But God forgot to tell my brain. So I over-commit.

And now I have digressed. Back to making commitments - that are keep-able.

I will post more frequently this year.

I have a commitment at the courthouse in 5 minutes. I gotta scram if I'm going to keep it. Probably shouldn't have tried to do this now, on my lunch break as I gulp down a smoothie and grab my files. But I think I squeezed it in ...