Collin at 3 1/2

We spent the most beautiful morning at Maritime Park tossing rocks into the Bay, collecting sticks, climbing trees and atop rocks, and enjoying the first sun in months! The frost was just melting as we arrived, and it was a glorious morning! 2.18.08
After I recently gave an Owen update, it occurred that I hadn't given a Collin update in quite some time, so here goes:

At three and a half, Collin is doing great! He is the most patient, steadfast, exuberant child I know. He loves art projects, socializing with friends, collecting sticks (and rocks, shells, etc.), learning, and reading the same stories over and over again. He recently completed a week's chore chart with lasting success. Each day he was charged with (1) sleeping through the night, (2) dressing himself, (3) doing something nice for Owen, (4) brushing his teeth - morning and night, (5) clearing his plate and wiping down the table, (5) either putting the silverware away or moving the laundry over. He loved the positive recognition, and I was pleasantly surprised to realize how often he did something nice for Owen or helped out around the house. It was a great "lesson" for us both!! I loved it!

Collin loves school ~ especially sign class and "show and share." This past week, the class has been studying bears, and I have enjoyed hearing each night of the new things he's learned. "Did you know bears eat wild things? Like bugs and fish and steak and spaghetti?" There's a "bear cave" set up in their classroom, complete with real branches and stumps so the kids can discover bear environments. "Polar bears live in the sea. Brown bears sometimes live in the rivers. Do you think we'll see at brown bear at Lake Padden trying to catch a fish? I'd like to see that."

Collin's main strength is perseverance, and it's manifesting itself this month as he's learning more and more who he is in our family, what his role is, what he's capable of, and where the boundaries lie. When he poses a challenge, you best be ready to hold your ground ... and I mean hold it. Because you may be in for a long battle. A simple "I don't want to brush my teeth tonight" can become an hour debacle in the bathroom. Once he sets his mind to anything, he's committed -- whether the task be learning something new, putting something together, building something, or getting his point across to another. He is a master negotiator, which can be great fun if you're in the mood and the circumstances are right! Collin is definitely a boy who will fail 100 times, but succeed on the 101st attempt and meet great success accomplishing something no one thought possible because he kept at it. So as frustrating as it can be for those of us raising him, Collin's perseverance drives many accomplishments, immense learning, and much great discovery!

Speaking of learning, Collin learns best through personal trial and error. Case in point: For a week I felt like I was repeating myself over and over. "Collin, please go to the bathroom; it's time for bed." And every night, he'd say, "I don't want to, and I don't have to, and I don't want to try. I'm too tired." (Of course, he doesn't really mean he's sleepy tired -- 'tired' is just his new "excuse" for why he can't do things we ask). So, after the week, I realized I was taking the wrong approach. He didn't care if I said, "But Collin, if you don't, you'll wet yourself and your bed." My "expertise" in the area meant nothing to him. He needed to learn the consequence for himself. So I said, "Ok. Your choice. But know that you are also choosing to wake up in the middle of the night, soaked with pee, uncomfortable and cold, and needing fresh sheets and clothes." That night, as predicted, he came into the room shivering, having dropped his drawers in the hallway because they were soaked. Granted, I had to get up to change the bed, but he was awake and uncomfortable during the whole process. The next night, "Collin, please go to the bathroom; it's time for bed." He literally responded with: "Ok, Mom. I'll try because I don't want to be wet and uncomfortable like last night." And we haven't struggled since.

So how do I introduce trial and error in the following challenge? Santa gave the boys "Peter Pan" for Christmas, probably thinking that all boys would love its tales of pirates and Indians and flying and mischief. Good thinking. However, Santa didn't realize how much the boys would want to become and be just like Peter Pan. Collin is totally into Peter Pan and swords and "fighting" with swords. As a result, we're constantly providing the message through that (1) not everyone wants to sword fight, (2) sword fighting is for play - be gentle, (3) if you hurt your friends - a. they may not want to be your friends and b. you lose your swords. We've banned Peter Pan for a week to see if we can curb it ... none of it is intentional - it's all in play. But EVERYTHING is a sword -- a jump rope, the vacuum cleaner attachment, a pickle, etc. Back to the trial and error ... do I give a sword to another kid and ask him to whack Collin so he'll appreciate the hurt he can transfer unwittingly? (Of course not. But I am open to any "other, real" suggestions.)

A great Collin tale went something like this after our friend Lily's 2nd birthday party this past Sunday:
Collin in the van on the way home - "I'm feeling a bit hungry. Can I have a grilled cheese when we get home?"
Me - "We could maybe have grilled cheese for dinner, but you'll have to wait until then to eat."
Collin - "But I'm hungry now!"
Me - "Owen and I ate a wonderful lunch at Lily's party before we enjoyed our cupcakes, and I'm still full. What did you eat?"
Collin - "Just a cupcake and a piece of chocolate. But I was making sure there was enough for you guys to get strong and healthy!"
** He must have got the point because he didn't ask for anything until dinner was served. : )